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My Reality - Part 2

3/12/14 by Oh-Sama
Updated 3/12/14

It's been a while since I've started all this, it's the only blog I write on for the moment. Click here to get to previous post

  • I can't speak English the same way I write my English posts but I pick-up every word as I type and edit and re-edit my posts so there is less grammatical mistakes. But I guess you still get the true meaning of my words anyway:)
  • Reality and Truth are not the same Concept,Truth is absolute, perfect it's GOD. However reality is relative to our growing consciousness/unconsciousness, this is my proper understanding of things so keep this in mind while reading :)
  • I trust the things I have no more doubts about anything else is subject to further studies
  • Also Oh-Sama is my ideal model, hopefully he will achieve the things I can't achieve in my life :)

Right now there's no way:

  • Telling you "Who am I?" <- Captain Jack Sparrow, may be :)
  • Telling you "Where I live?" <- I can only tell that I'm from a poor country, if you are curious enough you can play the detective role and tie the load of info together, there are several hints already placed here and there. PM me if you find something but I will never tell you whether it's yay or nay since that would give you more chance to find out :)
  • Opening a live chat with anyone
  • Accepting donations or payments from anybody

I was chatting yesterday with @CyberDevil on my NG blog and as we exchanged comments, I found that I am a procrastinator :(

I should face it. Yes, I am one big procrastinator and right now I'm so much determined to beat my procrastination! Since I always have been in the bad state of procrastination and unconscious being a procrastinator, I kept asking myself everyday why I'm this way and I found a couple of reasons for that:

  1. I have a three headed gratification monkey inside my head. CyberDevil said he has a Medusa with monkeys instead of snakes. I can imagine his pain XD but these monkeys are no match for my three headed one :P My monkey is fed with fears of society, failure, hate... also there is one fear that neither CyberDevil nor you would face but I do, can't tell you which one is this :(
  2. Waiting for PMs and comments makes me procrastinate too. YouTube also makes me fall in procrastination. So for the next two weeks, I should never open NG except for voting on submissions. YOUTUBE SHOULD BE CLOSED IMMEDIATELY, SERIOUSLY MAN YOU CAN DO IT :)
  3. Need of money. Yes money, I need money to change my fucking misery...Face it man you can't get any money. You didn't order your Payoneer Master Card, since you have no secure address for you to recieve it. You have no friends you can trust.You have no Paypal account either, you can't recieve SWIFT payments since you are afraid taxes will be the biggest part of it. And beforly you haven't started any trusted freelance job or learned how to code yet!! NOW, HOW THE HELL YOU CAN GET ANY MONEY YOU SICK BASTARD :(
  4. Hate of money. I fucking hate money because it's not meant to exist in our world. We are greedy needy people and there is no way we can change it (I mean immediately, hopefully with time) What if our currency was "likes", you purchase the things you like because you have enough "likes". Also I believe that there is a way to get through completing tasks without the need of a money-payment system. Of course we can't achieve my idea without improved technology and databases, without trusted governments and predictable politics. So why we fell into the money system? It's because our ancestors had no advanced technology (but this is not the only way I see it)
  5. My studies. This is out of my control. I don't like the educational system in my country anymore. Lessons and teachers are boring and outdated, you meet people who waste your time and keep you from doing the things you want most. I don't have anything against learning itself but I want to study the things I want to learn. I like maths, philosophy, physics, literacy, coding, art pretty much everything. However the system (also distractions biggest part too) make me unable to study and get the experience level I need to have. I owe myself to the internet since it has opened my eyes on the whole world. But I need to get my degree, I'm three semesters away of getting it. I should have it whatever it takes!!! BTW speaking of studies, I was the smartass school boy (I'm no more actually) who recieves tons of compliments from his teachers, who has less fears of exams and that stupid smile on the face but I've never worn any of those big glasses BP

So things that I'm aware of now is that I can't beat my disease immediately. The proof is that I did this news post :) I think the monkey and the enviroment he grows in gives him a potentionnal control over me. There's also the fact I live alone - speaking literary (I live with my family already) - and I should avoid having new real-time friends for the next few years. You geeks are probably my last link with this world :( Why? It's because there is a reason that would turn me into a traitor and I hate being a traitor (FUCK) Let me ask you something, do you love yourself? I do :) I don't mean you become egoist or rude towards people but I mean do you love being unique discovering your own potential step by step? I enjoy that even if I don't get anything done because in my situation the smallest progress I achieve means something :D

________________________________________________________________________________つづく


Comments

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Oh-SamaOh-Sama

5/11/14

26/03/2014 to ???
Long journey...
I'm back to procrastination, the monkey took control over me again x_x
I should fight back while retreating...


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/26/14

25/03/2014
Damn... Those comments have no end :/ I guess I shouldn't have asked to leave reviews XD
Adding to my to-do list The NGFWC Collab, there's a very little hope I can watch any series or movie or play any PC game until summer XD
But I shouldn't get bored anyway :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/25/14

Gtg check it out then! I'm next in line on a 120 frame collab too, think I need to get that one done first... good hearing it.

Ah, yeah now that I see it with new eyes the references should've been obvious. That scene with the glass bridge was pretty cool in the movie, they must've really precision-angled the camera, kinda like the staircase illusion in Inception (lots of interesting things in the 'behind the scenes for that one')... hnnm, anyway it looks good!

Haha yeah, both upgrade and downgrade at the same time!


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/25/14

I have joined! I posted on the first page!! But I haven't made anything yet!!! What's the deadline again?

That Indy's hat... for a moment there I thought it was Luffy's hat! :D You should do an ADSL to VDLS upgrade btw, and forget to switch the modem, it'll cut you off for the net in no time! And you'll be forced to outside aaaand... get a new modem. :P

3/25/14 (Updated 3/25/14) Oh-Sama responds:

Great!!! It's probably today :P
But PKMN2 said in a previous reply he might extend it for one month since most entries were not as quality required, so you might be able to join :)
"I'm actually considering extending this collab for a month. I personally think that it needs more quality entries, so I would have go ahead and make a few more."

It's a parody of PKMN2's character "Marichu" and Harrison Ford's "The Last Crusade" movie, if you have ever watched that movie, you'll get the joke :)
It also needs some sound effects and of course Indy's theme in the end :)

You surely mean a downgrade =P since I guess that what made you offline in the last few days XD


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/24/14

24/03/2014
Damn... I'm on a date with NG <3
I couldn't help it :(
I was responding to comments and blog replies for the whole day...
Guess what? My fans list has reached 50 already so I made a new blog entry...
I missed doing plenty of things because of that but I guess it was worth it, even a little.
I have played through some flash games and one of them was very funny (and a bit dirty) 3:D
Tomorrow I should cut my internet or I will be a lost soul again...


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/24/14

23/03/2014
I have made an account on DeviantArt but it should be empty for a while :(
The Happy Collab got front paged... yay!! It started getting more and more views.
I also did few improvements to my part for PKMN2's Collab :3
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/54b832ccbb9848396773fe6df8c3e886
I should make another one too :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/23/14

I mean if you don't refresh the page, but send a new request instead (just click in address bar and press enter - same address)... it works! Just had to clarify. :P

Haha, all these Flappy parodies. XD Reminds me I also joined up for that collab way back, I need to get started...

3/24/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Thank you CyberDevil. I got the trick, tested it and it worked :D
Yes, you should join :)


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/23/14

22/03/2014
I was responding to comments in the morning, people say they have enjoyed the Happy Collab :)
But I wasted the whole day doing nothing, just thinking of something for "Cliff the Gap Leaper" Collab by PMKN2
In the evening I played a little through "Fear Less!" but I got bored fast :(
Late at night, around 11-12 PM I started animating a small something for PKMN2 XD
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/adf212866aab129a32a90ea8b0f72064


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/21/14

21/03/2014
Guess what?.. I had to upload the file again since it was missing something :(
So I remade the outro multi screen effect and added user icons in the credits
The Happy Collab was published early in the evening and it's going fine with the comments and some people are happy and yeah... XD
I also joined the Cliff The Gap Leaper Collab by PKMN2. I hope I could make something on time :)
I've already thought of an idea and will start it shortly tomorrow...
I didn't make any progress on my samurai x ninja x shaolin animation in the last few days.
I was busy with the Happy Collab and now with PKMN2, so maybe I'll get back into it next week :)
Bye :P


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/20/14

20/03/2014
TADA!!!
I finished uploading the Happy Collab XD
Then I spotted something missing in the credits >:(
My bad it's too late here. Now shall I keep it this way or shall I replace it?? o_O
Today is nearly over, the Collab will be published tomorrow so most of contributors can join :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/20/14

Hmm, looks like a page refresh doesn't work after all, but a clicvk in adress bar and goto URL once more works fine. Odd.

3/21/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Hmm... I got lost again :(
Nevermind CyberDevil, I can go without your directions :P

Oh yeah, the Happy Collab is out but I can't see you anywhere??
I hope you're doing great wherever you go :3


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/20/14

Awesome news! Also testing that page refresh/multiple comments thing...


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/20/14

Awesome news! Also testing that page refresh/multiple comments thing...


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/20/14

Awesome news! Also testing that page refresh/multiple comments thing...


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/20/14

19/03/2014
I managed to make the Multi Screen Effect in Sony Vegas. Well, it wasn't as great as I was expecting but it works fine for the moment :)
The Happy Collab would be shortly uploaded to the portal as soon as I finish the assembly. It will be all done by tomorrow (well, I actually mean today :P)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/19/14

For that double post limit, just refresh the page after each comment. I think it's there so you don't accidentally hit submit twice but it is a bit tedious...

Good with progress and yeah, that's that missing post. :) Just realized though, that tomorrow IS actually yesterday, you know, since tomorrow is always the day after the day that passed before the previous day? :L

3/20/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Thanks for the info BRO :) sadly I think the submit button trick is tricky because I did refresh the page :(

I'm lost o_O


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/19/14

18/03/2014
I animated a big part of the Happy Collab credits but couldn't finish it on time :(
I tried to write this post on time but the submit button got disabled after I wrote the previous one, may be there's a double post limit... I also tried to upload a quick test of the Happy Collab to the project space but it didn't work. The old file still play, I holded SHIFT while refreshing the page, cleared my cash after and also changed the browser but it didn't work...
So instead, I might create a second project just in case it wouldn't work when the final file get uploaded... I hope the other guys could add themselves on time, if not I'll wait :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/19/14

Nice! Really smooth animation; the coloring too.

Tomorrow's a new day! I mean, tomorrow was yesterday...

3/19/14 (Updated 3/19/14) Oh-Sama responds:

I couldn't beat my motivation to color the (animated) storyboard and I'm amazed with the result :)
You were talking about my missing post on Tuesday (18/03/2014 ), right?? LOL :)


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/18/14

17/03/2014
I colored 99% of the (3 sec) sketch as you can see here
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/eb41c17b1a26b9219053e78cd773b7ab
I think this style is perfect for my animation but I'm not sure yet

I failed at finishing the credits of the happy Collab :(


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/18/14

Super-Franky is SUPER! Word.

3/18/14 Oh-Sama responds:

For the rest of the week ;)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/17/14

I'll wait. :)

Woo, front-paged; awarded... fingers crossed!

3/17/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Thank you, you're always here to support me TTwTT
Your devilish presence makes me feel like a super-Franky XD
I should get back to work :)


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/17/14

16/03/2014
Unlike the previous day, Sunday was victorious :D
I managed to make an important (3 sec) FBF progress in my animation :)
I also did some big improvements to the Happy Collab. Hopefully it will be published soon this week. Only the credits and some final touches remain and then we get front paged :D
I'm so happy that I missed to make this post on time XD


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/15/14

15/03/2014
I wasted the whole day but not on the internet >:(
I was experimenting with Flash trying to get few effects to work but they didn't
I did a small progress on my animation and on the Happy Collab
Today was a total failure, I hope tomorrow will be better :(


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/15/14

I log in once a week at most... once every other week is probably the norm, and it's usually a bit more than two months so at least two month losses. :) July and August, maybe also late June and early September, depends on work/studies. I realize I probably won't be able to spend that much time in the wild all my life, but I'm going to fight for the right! It's the peak of the year! Free from the bleak and despair! Freedom creeps in the air! It's musique to my ears!

Whaaa.. that is a baffling hint! :O Watched it a few more aaaaand nope, that's all I got.

3/15/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Thx for the info also have fun :)

If I give you the next hint you will surely get it but I won't, so wait until everything is over XD


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/15/14

Yeah, I'll check the rules first just in case. :)

Sad times. :( I think I've missed just 10 so far, the funeral day... but summer's coming up and I'll probably miss a couple of months worth then... 30-50 isn't that bad in the long run!

Well I only know the anime's I watched. :P The ones I mentioned are the ones I felt had some form of resemblance, but IDK... I guess I have to guess at One Piece as well? My mind's blank man!

Oh, that hint it... just leaves me with the required OP guess. :)

Alright, reply another day away.

3/15/14 (Updated 3/15/14) Oh-Sama responds:

You mean you never log into NG during these months, not a single day perhaps?
If so, could you please tell me which months exactly?

I should tell you what Silver Rayleigh would probably have told Ussop: "One Piece does exist", yet not there :)

I replied, now I'm off :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/15/14

Yeah same here, and I wish I'd thought of things like that back when I made them. I don't even remember which accounts I had, so there's no way of knowing if someone else is using them or what's happened.

Oh, multiple accounts aren't allowed?? You sure? I thought it was only prohibited to use ALTs to get around posting limits; stuff like that. Would be dramatic indeed! But that other account is even older than my current one, no idea what I would use it for but.. I want it! :D Yeah Wade still works here, he's still in charge of all account-based problems people may have, as noted on the staff page. He actually helped me get back access to my account a few months ago when my password leaked (I have no idea how that happened), after threatening to delete my account a few years ago if I kept being as active as I was he hasn't really been a favorite user but I guess he's the impulsive type.. my views are slowly changing.

Oh shit, you missed 10EXP! O_O Man that's... I don't know what to... I'm sorry for your loss man. I feel your pain.

That anime reference, hmm ninjas... first thought is Avatar, but nah... can it be? Air Master maybe? DBZ? Am I miles away?

3/15/14 (Updated 3/15/14) Oh-Sama responds:

Well, I'm not sure if they SHOULD ban you but be careful anyway :P

This year I missed like 30-50 exp points :(

And yes you are miles and miles away. Don't just list all the Animes you've watched so far but do a guess.
Few hints: I've never watched Avatar or Air Master, I know I should. I've also dropped while watching Dragon Ball, but for sure, there will be DB(Z) reference(s) in my animation :)

I should be off in few minutes :D


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/15/14

14/03/2014
I missed a day on NG, writing this post on time and getting my 10 experience points as well (TTmTT)

Next time I story-board a music video, I should never animate it the same way I did with the current one. At first I was aiming to sync the movement with the music. I did a great job on this part but it's giving me additional work since I'm going to redraw every frame.
Also, I should never use the brush tool for story-boarding anymore. Combined with computer mouse, both make the worst alternative to graphic tablets.
Instead, I started to familiarize with the pen tool. It's giving me fine results. I remember that dex00 has used the pen tool for making his famous Ninja Action.
Anyway I did a good progress on story-boarding my animation (actually the storyboard is nearly complete but it needs some more work) ^v^
Here's few 10 seconds preview for you guys:
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/b1982ecd89605213092a28cdce33fb6e
I'll leave you @CyberDevil to guess which (anime) reference I used for this

I rearranged my desk so that now I have two screens on top:
My laptop screen and an old CRT one. Not sure but this could help me while using references :)

The weather was very bad, it was raining non-stop...
Also, thunder sounds were quite loud and they scared me a bit (vmv)
So I closed my PC and went to sleep around 9-10 PM :(


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/14/14

Oh, a long lost account! The favorites match as well, no doubt it's mine but... how do I login? :/ No idea what pass or email I used for that one! Think I might need to contact Wade. Thanks for letting me know though... and thanks.

Haha, that crow is pretty cool! Good things are working out.

3/15/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Haha happens always.
I have many email accounts to which I have no access anymore :(

I think you should get TomFulp to grant you access to your account again but be careful since they don't allow multiple accounts, you may get your current account banned.
You worked for years developing this account, it would be very bad (dramatic) if you lose it in a sudden :P
Maybe Wade could help you too but is Wade still active in NG??


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/13/14

13/03/2014
I was lazier than yesterday but I managed to do something :D
A classmate asked me to design a character for an android game he probably will do soon.
So I drew/colored this ScareCrow Sketch:
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/88c1dabc9db98ef8dd4794fa040fd907
The head looks horrible and I have to remake the shadings :(
Some good news :) It seems like the money problem could be solved, if I can manage myself to cooperate with this guy and make some flash/android games together, I already asked him and he replied positively but we need to talk more :)
I also googled some reference for my up-coming animation and designed (actually copied/changed the reference a little) this Shaolin Monk:
http://www.newgrounds.com/dump/item/cef3ff7e106e62cba28a7f9ee0b20713
It needs more work too and I should make him a spear not a boo-staff.
Not sure if the animated version should be colored this way, it takes more time to get a fine result with this technique, I should find a better alternative...
Tomorrow I MUST resume working on Happy Collab and add the missing pieces, also maybe I should make the other two characters for my animation :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/13/14

A new way of posting updates. :)

Meant to say earlier btw, the @Cyberdevil in the newspost didn't work, looks like it only works in comments/responses... if you didn't know. Sounds like a good day! I've been at work myself... today, , 9 to 5 quite literally. No computer during all that time either; I'm in a great mood, earning money can be fun! Good job.

3/13/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Thank you @BobAxell (now it should work) There's an account with this username, wonder if it's yours since the age is the same XD
Good luck on your job too :)


Oh-SamaOh-Sama

3/12/14

12/03/2014
Now I can go without the internet at least half the day.
I kept myself offline for 6-7 hours. I cleaned my desktop, thought of a way to keep me out of my distractions and finally got a stunning idea and I made a progress through it.
I'm preparing everything right now for the next two weeks maybe I can start my project this weekend not in a hurry but promised myself never passing the due date. It's going fine, I still feel the flow of energy, the monkey is still playing his sick games. Guess what? We got visitors today just by the moment I started working. It was my uncle and his child "Takuta" (6-7 years old) that's a nickname we gave him. He asked me to play some flash games. I managed to lock him in my sister's room xD
I haven't opened YouTube and I'm going to sleep around 10-11 PM (local time) ^v^


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/12/14

lol, smartass and tons of compliments from teachers sounded like an odd combo. :) Alright, see you on the line when you're off the online offing!

3/12/14 (Updated 3/12/14) Oh-Sama responds:

@CyberDevil
@Kkots

LOL I meant smartass with my class mates not teachers but I'm no more XD
I managed to do something today. I'll post-comment my progress here on this page everyday if you still want to check :)
Also don't worry about the Happy Collab, I'm saving some time to finish it :)


CyberdevilCyberdevil

3/12/14

Grammatical notes: unconscious means blacked out, not conscious is a different thing... and smartass is basically someone who's annoying... complicated language English is. :)

Glad my comments inspired a change! Good luck! I'm not staying away from socializing on NG since that's... pretty much the form of socializing I enjoy most right now, but I'll join up on that YT challenge. It's possible! No videos for... the rest of the week!

As for that money problem, I just got a low-wage part-time job on 48 hours/month in addition to studies, and it's... not bad, but I still feel like I should be doing something else. I want to chase my visions, but what are my visions really? Am I just trying to run away from work when I consider other opportunities and things that I'd like to do... that I might subconsciously be thinking are easier to do? Am I scared of change? Ah well, some $$$ will be good to have regardless... Whatever those problems you can't name are: fight them! You can do it! Live for the moment! Tomorrow is a new day! Life is precious! Cotton candy is awesome!

3/12/14 Oh-Sama responds:

Before I go offline
Thanks for clearing everything but Haha I mean smartass exactly, I remember being annoying but not that much :)
I'm cutting my internet till night, time for some flash stuff :)
Now I'm offline


kkotskkots

3/12/14

Holy crap these freaking tests, they are like believing in horoscope or witches, you need to heal your mind of this sickness and see the true reality with your own eyes, unclouded by this unholy superstition.

3/12/14 Oh-Sama responds:

I have to beat them all ghosts... upgrades equipped :D